When my mother told me that my kids would pay me back for all the bad things I did when I was a kid, I laughed. Okay, not entirely true. I sat down and thought "hmm, I wasn't really a bad kid!" (Until I hit the teenage years that is, but they still have no idea about that, so it doesn't count, right?) It's not that my kids are bad, but over the past several months it seems I have become a circus performer, jumping through countless hoops to get through just the day! Here is the update that is much needed!
Kathryn has been a "normal" 6 almost 7 year old. Homework has become one more daily chore piled onto my already overwhelming list. For crying out loud seriously, who is in school here, me or her? It's a fight to see who has more stamina, who can sit there and cry, scream, yell the loudest, just to give in. I can only do so much, right?
Dylan is his typical mischievous self. He instigates almost all the fights between his brother and sister. Blames everyone else. Everyone sees him as this perfectly sweet, innocent little boy, who never does anything wrong. I saw through that facade a long time ago. Dylan has 2 settings, Big Helper: Does his chores, even without being asked, homework done and then some. Andddd then there is Little Devil: fights everything I say, instigates everything, battles are usually lost with him standing in the corner. The weather is getting cooler, which means It is asthma season... I am dreading this. I know a severe lack of sleep is on the way. Luckily, I am stocked up on medicine and coffee. For both of us.
Caleb.. He is the reason I have jumped through more hoops than a circus clown. If you have ever had to have a child placed into the special needs program in school, then you know completely what I am talking about. I have battled (imagine suiting up in full chain and platemail armor and you know what I am getting at) with school boards, psychologists school counselors bus drivers (seriously, if you have an autistic child yourself, you should know and understand how he reacts to a big huge bus with lots of kids! HELLO! DUH!) doctors, nurses, and teachers (although his teacher is FRIGGEN AMAZING!) Seriously, His teacher is the best thing that has happened to me since sliced bread. She completely understands his needs, and she helps us so much! If it wasn't for her I am pretty sure I would not have pushed so hard to get him on the special needs. It took 4 months to get my son onto an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) It has been a very rough and trying road. But we finally did it! Caleb is doing better than ever, and I couldn't be happier!
Overall, the kids have been doing very well. Every once in awhile I have one of those moments that I am on the right track, where I feel that everything is right in the world and I am not a complete failure. But then, something shatters my bubble of perfection. The whole single mom thing is not easy by any means. But oddly enough, it is easier to deal with the kids without my ex around. More and more I feel like myself, and not some screwed up carbon copy that was messed up in the presses.
When I found the second lump in my breast, I had to swallow a huge measure of pride. I already knew what the outcome would be when the doctor examined me but I chose to wait anyway. Needless to say it didn't disappear, but grew. Once again I went under the knife and had the damn thing removed. Stay gone this time!!! I do not want to be a lumpy, pincushion that the doctor gets to use! (Although I must say I absolutely LOVE Dr Lisa Farmer! She is awesome, laid back and has great bedside manner!) My breast is still a bit tender, but hopefully that will disappear soon.
Kids birthdays are literally right around the corner. Dylans is exactly one week away, with Kathryns and Calebs right behind it. I don't have anything to give them, which makes me feel awful. I guess it also makes me feel awful that I am doing this birthday party in hopes that kids bring gifts to them, to make up for the fact that I can't afford to get them anything. *Please don't let the other parents be stingy!!!*
Well, thats about it, so much has happened since my last post, and I am really trying to get back into writing- hopefully that will help me get out some of my frustration in the world around me. Either that or maybe I should find an abandoned building and start smashing windows... either or could be satisfying...